Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I said "one day" and that day is not today
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
