Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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