I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
