OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I cut my penus on the lid.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
