Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Randomize
