I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
