So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Randomize
