My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
