Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
