Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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