marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
