You really coming over, don't trick.
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
