Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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