shes about as inviting as chlamydia
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
My vagina is very pro this idea
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
