I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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