I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
