I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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