Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
