Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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