My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
