hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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