We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
