Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
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