You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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