I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize
