So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
