I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize