just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
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