I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
