Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
