Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
