So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
