just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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