There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Randomize
