Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
