Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
