I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
