I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
