i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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