didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
