dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
