I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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