carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Sorry about my life...
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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