i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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