As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
