uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I love having hate sex.
He felt like a one man threesome
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
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