Do you still have your period?
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Randomize
