Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
