The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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