there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
