Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
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